First you lose your faith and then your guts, or the other way around?

Just wondering, in heart breaking situations, what do you lose first?

A part of yourself?
Your trust to people?
Your self balance?
Your ego?
Your time?
Your mind?
Your sleep?
Your friend?
Your sexuality?
Your way of living?
Your routine?
Your innocence?
Your self esteem?
Your expectations?
Your dream?
Your guts?
Your faith?


Try not to lose yourself for anyone. It's just relationships. Just people. People come and go, and usally we have a lesson to take from each story and each person. The one we haven't learn yet. 
So don't be afraid to be hurt. Its part of the game. The game of love.

Sleepless in Athens

Its Monday. I didn't win the lotto, so i guess i should go to work tommorow.

It's ok... but... i lost the whole weekend. I didn't even went out to my balcony.

I saw a very strong and real dream last night... i still can't get over it . I should wait 3 days as my grandmother says to see what it meant. Although i think i already know.

SMALL PLEASURES... A Greek Production

Did i miss something?

Am I the only one? I run and run and run all day from home to work, from work to gym and then back to home again.

Everyday is the same. And no matter what i do or plan nothing changes!

Its like the Groundhog Day movie....

And i am so tired... sick and tired of it. I wanna go for a drink. But i am exhausted! And during weekend i have to do housecleaning...

what am'i doing wrong?

10 years have passed and i didn't notice...

10 years in a town i don't like, doing the same thing every ------$%@#--- morning.

Running in circles...

Cheat is cheap

Cheating is immoral or just inhuman?

First of all; Cheating is so ordinary that i hate been a cheater because i am not an ordinary person.

Second of all; Cheating is so easy that i hate been a cheater cause i like challenges.

Third of all; Cheating is the biggest betrayal. You betrayal yourself and then your best friend, your best half. If your best half doesn't have a clue, that makes you a very immature person and a very egoist human being. You cannot expect from someone to be faithful to you and at the same time, you do things that you would never wanted him/her to do to you. So, every relationship, friendship or any other kind should be built on honesty and free will. But that goes for both sides as well!!! It's not fair for you to have your romance and expect from your relation to live without it or just with you.

Fourth of all; Cheating is dangerous for many reasons. Someone WILL GET HURT. Sometimes so much hurt that never heals. Someone may get sick. There are soooo many diseases out there, and no matter how careful you are, sometimes someone - who is not the cheater - may get sick because you were having fun... That's so unfair, sad and dangerous.

Fifth of all; You never know how crazy is someone for you... And by crazy i mean really CRAZY. I' ve seen a lot of that stuff... So, dangerous also, and usually not for the person who is involved.

But, what about the poor cheated?

Poor cheated always takes a lesson, and that is more important than the whole cheating story.

First of all; People do that. Not to him. They just do that. It's inhuman but... that's why cheating is a human privilege... It's a good opportunity to test your self respect, your self confidence after a stroke like that, your strength and your criteria.

Poor cheated always finds out last. But the problem isn't that he is the last that founds out how stupid he or she was. The problem is that - usually - he or she finds out. Ok, maybe the poor cheated feels a little bit good about himself, because at the end he knows. But it's never good to know, trust me. An information like that only makes the poor cheated more miserable than he was. And now that he knows, he must deal with it. Sometimes it's not that easy... Sometimes it's even harder than you can imagine.

So, should the poor cheated stay, forgive and forget?

The most important issue is why. Why should the poor cheated forgive and forget and stay in a toxic relationship?

If the poor cheated give a good answer, may give a chance to himself and then to the cheater.

So, in conclusion, cheating for someones may be a way of living. For some others a way of understanding.
For me there is no excuse to cheat. No excuse. I don't have to forgive and forget. I don't harm others. I don't act like an egoist so, i expect the same in returns. Nothing more.

If only one of my relationships told me that they were attracted by another person, and just wanted to be with that person, yes i would have been hurt, but at least i would appreciate that i was respected enough to be told about it.

I don't forgive and forget.

And i don't forgive myself for forgetting who i am and how i treated me for the past years. I stayed trying to forgive and forget knowing that there was no good enough answer on WHY.

And i stayed.
And it's not me! I don't do that!
I lost many years with that behavior. Now i am trying - at least!- not to lose the lesson about the whole situation.

My button!

Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Where did all men (from any race) disappear?
They went far far away to destroy the ring girls!

The usual problems with Christmas and Easter here in Greece, is that everyone (and by everyone i mean relatives) ask you again and again WHERE IS THE GROOM GIRL??? The problem is, that after 30, you start wondering yourself also! The real problem is that you find yourself worrying about looking for an answer that doesn't want to be found (just like the groom!).
When exactly can you be sure that you found the love of your life? Don't tell me that when i'll find him i will know for sure... it's not that simple.
It was very simple in the age of 23. Maybe even 26. Because before 30 you know that you can make mistakes that you can blame your age! Your luck! Your immaturity...something! But... i am sure that after 30 you just can't mistake love at first sight with the love of your life. So you don't have excuses.
The love of your life, in my opinion, is the kind of love and the kind of man that changes you forever. That takes you to another lever. That leaves marks. And by marks i don't mean wounds. What happened then and why if we found that love of a lifetime isn't still with us? Maybe isn't all black and white. Maybe big great loves not always stay together till death do them apart. Maybe girls over 35, are romantic girls that looking for that big experience before the big day. Maybe they don't need that big day at all. Maybe they just need to find the precious inside of them and not in some diamond ring. Maybe monogamy isn't for everyone. Maybe those girls are so much hurt that they need the greatest love of all to heal their hearts; the love of a child. And that's why they are so afraid. They don't want to miss it. They don't want to make a mistake again. Cause a mistake like that will cost them everything. And a girl over 30 with brains, if that happen just can't blame anyone but herself.
So... no ring is that precious. No man is that precious. No promise is that precious. The most precious thing is love. But you can't have a baby to fill your gaps. Or your heart-gaps. And a girl over 30 with brains, knows that. So she stands still. And as long as she stands still, peace never comes, and years goes by.

Zen secret is this; when you sit, you sit still.
When you move, just move.
The worse things of all is wavering.