Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Cheat is cheap
Cheating is immoral or just inhuman?
First of all; Cheating is so ordinary that i hate been a cheater because i am not an ordinary person.
Second of all; Cheating is so easy that i hate been a cheater cause i like challenges.
Third of all; Cheating is the biggest betrayal. You betrayal yourself and then your best friend, your best half. If your best half doesn't have a clue, that makes you a very immature person and a very egoist human being. You cannot expect from someone to be faithful to you and at the same time, you do things that you would never wanted him/her to do to you. So, every relationship, friendship or any other kind should be built on honesty and free will. But that goes for both sides as well!!! It's not fair for you to have your romance and expect from your relation to live without it or just with you.
Fourth of all; Cheating is dangerous for many reasons. Someone WILL GET HURT. Sometimes so much hurt that never heals. Someone may get sick. There are soooo many diseases out there, and no matter how careful you are, sometimes someone - who is not the cheater - may get sick because you were having fun... That's so unfair, sad and dangerous.
Fifth of all; You never know how crazy is someone for you... And by crazy i mean really CRAZY. I' ve seen a lot of that stuff... So, dangerous also, and usually not for the person who is involved.
But, what about the poor cheated?
Poor cheated always takes a lesson, and that is more important than the whole cheating story.
First of all; People do that. Not to him. They just do that. It's inhuman but... that's why cheating is a human privilege... It's a good opportunity to test your self respect, your self confidence after a stroke like that, your strength and your criteria.
Poor cheated always finds out last. But the problem isn't that he is the last that founds out how stupid he or she was. The problem is that - usually - he or she finds out. Ok, maybe the poor cheated feels a little bit good about himself, because at the end he knows. But it's never good to know, trust me. An information like that only makes the poor cheated more miserable than he was. And now that he knows, he must deal with it. Sometimes it's not that easy... Sometimes it's even harder than you can imagine.
So, should the poor cheated stay, forgive and forget?
The most important issue is why. Why should the poor cheated forgive and forget and stay in a toxic relationship?
If the poor cheated give a good answer, may give a chance to himself and then to the cheater.
So, in conclusion, cheating for someones may be a way of living. For some others a way of understanding.
For me there is no excuse to cheat. No excuse. I don't have to forgive and forget. I don't harm others. I don't act like an egoist so, i expect the same in returns. Nothing more.
If only one of my relationships told me that they were attracted by another person, and just wanted to be with that person, yes i would have been hurt, but at least i would appreciate that i was respected enough to be told about it.
I don't forgive and forget.
And i don't forgive myself for forgetting who i am and how i treated me for the past years. I stayed trying to forgive and forget knowing that there was no good enough answer on WHY.
And i stayed.
And it's not me! I don't do that!
I lost many years with that behavior. Now i am trying - at least!- not to lose the lesson about the whole situation.