Tuesday, April 20, 2010
F CK... the only thing you need is U
Disappointment. What is all about? Some say if you don't expect anything from anyone you never get disappointed. Maybe. But... who can really live this way?
I am a kind of person that gives 100% into anything i do. I give 100% to people when i think they deserve it. And of course... i get disappointed. It doesn't matter what i do, how i try, how much work i 've done with myself. Work, job, friendships, relationships, relatives, anything anything can end up a huge disappointment. But why?
It's because it has to do with people. And as long as it has to do with people, disappointment is part of the deal. No matter how prepare you are, you are never enough prepared for that. And... that's a big disappointment from... yourself. Why yourself never learns the lesson? Stop wasting time of your precious life... on people? Stop taking things so serious? Stop punishing yourself for being good? What is the lesson anyway?
I came to a conclusion last night.
The lesson is not to stop believing in yourself. World is full of people. Anything, has to do with people. It doesn't matter how good person you are, but only if it counts for you.
So... don't expect your boyfriend to be faithful because you are.
Your best friend to love you back, because you do that.
Your boss to tell you how good you are in your job, although you are the best.
Don't expect your relatives to act like they are your family, just because you think they are.
Don't expect a good word for your efforts, just because you deserve it.
Don't expect good in return just because you do good.
Don't expect justice, just because you believe in justice.
Don't expect someone to be right, just because you are right.
Expect everything from you.
If you wanna keep on being right, do that because you believe in that. Do that with passion, do that with faith, do that with all your body and soul, and do that only for you. Only for your soul, and only if you think this is what you want.
NOT WHAT OTHERS EXPECT FROM YOU OR WHAT YOU THINK SHOULD BE RIGHT. Just act the way you believe your better self should act. You, are the only one who knows the better self you wanna be. What a better self means to you. This way, you can never be disappointed. By anyone. Mostly you.
So, the lesson, for me, is to expect anything and nothing at the same time.
But, while doing that, always believe in myself. Always knowing the truth. My truth. Cause it's very easy to cheat yourself with lots of excuses. It's very difficult some times to understand if you are using excuses to misguide yourself. Very difficult. But if you are true to yourself you are going to ind edify them at the end.
Always ask yourself; WHY?
WHY am i working so much? Because i want to or because i want a promotion?
WHY am i in this relationship? Because i want to, or because i am afraid to move on?
WHY am i doing this charity? Because i want to do it for those who need, or just to feel better about myself?
WHY am i so much hurt of someone's injustice? Because i think much of his opinion, or because i think much of myself? And if so, why should this hurt me if i know it's injustice?
If someone is injustice to you, you should not be hurt. He or she should be. Don't punish yourself cause someone else did something wrong or he did something wrong to you. You, didn't. It's unfair, i know, but life is unfair.
If you wanna be fair do it for you. This way, nothing can make you feel bad for yourself. You don't need people who are unfair... but, most of them are. Some times maybe you were in the past. You never know, because sometimes you just don't know how should someone feel about something you did, although it wasn't on purpose.
So, be kind. To others. Mostly to you.
It's ok to be hurt.
This way you can see your limits.
This way you can be better.
We live in ourselves. Let's try to make them the person that why cannot find.
Life is too short. Don't waste it on others. Let them fix their own character.
Protect yours.It's the most difficult thing. Never lose your trust. Never lose you.